Always a bridesmaid, SO WHAT!
My best friend sent me an article by Mo Ivory titled “I Called Off My Engagement (I’m More Afraid Of Divorce Than Marriage)”. Not only did she send it to me but it kept popping up on Facebook. At first I was reluctatnt to read the article. After all, I was 7 months away from a fairy tale wedding on a private isalnd in Jamaica. Why would I ever read an anti-marriage article? Finally I broke down and read the article, I mean after all what harm could it do? Halfway through the article I began to cry and by the end of the article I sobbed uncontrollably.
Here are some lessons I have learned and try to live by, some I get more than than others:
1) It’s ok to be alone! You can never fully love someone and be loved unless you love yourself and are 100% comfortable with only you and God.
*A God fearing man is priceless and the only man for me!
2) Do not ignore the warning signs, they are there for a reason. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy, he just may not be the one for you.
3) Not settling does not mean you are picky. We sometmes fool ourselves into thinking we are too picky. (and some of us are) But we all have core values that are essential to our authenticity.
*Examples: (A) I only date men who drive luxury cars, wear tailored suits, and make 6 figures or more! (PICKY) (B)It’s ok that he lives with his momma, doesn’t have a job, and needs help paying child support. He loves me (SETTLING)
4) Don’t let society get to you. You are not less than because you are not married. You are not less than if you don’t have children.
*Note: It is extremely aggravating when people ask, “So when are you going to settle down? Get married? Have kids?” Ummmm…if I could predict that I’d be rich. I’m not dating, I’m single. I can’t poof, flick a wand and change my situation. It’s uncomfortable and can be rude. If you don’t know me well enough to know those answers, don’t ask.
5) You can still believe in happily ever after without obsessing over next steps. I have a strong desire to get married, have kids, become president of the PTA, bake cookies, and post a gazillion pictures of my family. But that’s not where I am in life right now. I live an amazing life with wonderful family and friends. I have had the opportunity to travel the world and experience more than most can ever dream about. Live in the now! Enjoy! You don’t want to look back and regret wasting time on “what if’s” instead of “right now”.